Incident Report 1/8
Dr. {Name Withheld} -

Here's the collection of incident reports you wanted, {Name Withheld}. I'm sorry about the haphazard order (I know how much you like things chronological), but that's how I found them, and I figured there was a reason. Anyways, hope you guys find that link you've been looking for.

- Assistant Researcher Yates.



SCP Involved: SCP-434

Date: February 15, 2012.

Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Subjects Involved: Jeffrey Winger, Ann Edison, Britta Perry, Troy Barnes, Pierce Hawthorne, Abed Nadir, Shirley Bennett.

Description: The subjects stumbled upon the SCP while attending a dinner party at the residence of Mr. Hawthorne. According to the subjects, SCP-434 belonged to their host, who was unable to recall how the object came to be in his possession. While engaging in a heated debate with Ms. Perry, Mr. Winger sat down in one of the chairs placed around the SCP, trigging its anomalous effects. 

The appearance of the duplicates greatly unnerved the subjects: Ms. Edison physically attacked SCP-434-3, wounding him but causing no significant reaction. After calming down and assuring themselves of the reality of the situation, the subjects then proceeded to "interview" the manifestations. Although all the subjects attempted to do so, the manifestations were only truly responsive with their "originator". After piecing together the various accounts, the following profiles of Mr. Winger's duplicates can be made:

1. SCP-434-1 spent the majority of the time complimenting Mr. Winger, most of the comments focusing on his physical attractiveness and intelligence. When Ms. Perry and Mr. Barnes made derogatory comments about Mr. Winger's forehead, SCP-434-1 became defensive on his originator's behalf, eventually resorting to crude insults and personal attacks.

2. SCP-434-2 attempted to convince Mr. Winger to gain the hand of Ms. Edison. SCP-434-2 ignored the originator's claims that Ms. Edison was "just a friend" and attempted to give Mr. Winger romantic advice until his capture, often turning to the other subjects/duplicates for help.

3. SCP-434-3 only spoke twice: Once to tell Mr. Winger to "stop hanging with these losers" and once more to tell Mr. Nadir to stop touching him.

4. SCP-434-4, much like the second, also attempted to convince Mr. Winger to enter a romantic relationship with Ms. Edison. Unlike #2, this manifestation refused to acknowledge the others and was actually actively hostile to Ms. Edison when she attempted to speak to him.

5. SCP-434-5 left the room almost immediately. The recovery team found him stealing junk food from Mr. Hawthorne's pantry.

6. SCP-434-6 refused to speak until SCP-434-2 began mentioning various love songs with which to gain Ms. Edison's affections. At this time, he then stated that a "real man" would "make" Miss Edison "his girl, whether she liked it or not", and proceeded to make a threatening movement towards her. All of the subjects came to Miss Edison's defense, and Mrs. Bennett suffered a broken nose in the melee. The brawl was interrupted by SCP-434-1, who then proceeded to attack SCP-434-6 for implying that Mr. Winger was not a "real man".

7. SCP-434-7 escaped the fight, later confronting Mr. Winger in the hallway and proceeding to lecture him about all of the things wrong with his life (Estranged family, broken career, stalled romantic life) and the ways to fix them. In particular, the duplicate was adamant that a relationship with Ms. Edison would bring long-term happiness to Mr. Winger's future.

It was at this point that the Foundation recovery team entered the premises. The subjects, after being detained and interviewed, were dosed with Class-A Amnesiacs and released. The duplicates were held in Foundation custody until they dissipated.
Explanation: SCP-434 is an antique conference table that, if a person sits at it while there are 8 or more chairs placed around it, generates seven exact duplicates of the sitter, each representing a different aspect of his or her personality.

Shipping Meme
Name Six Pairings That You Love

Name Three Pairings That You Used To Like, But Don't Anymore

Name Three Pairings That You Don't Like

Name Two Pairings That You're Curious About, But Don't Actually Ship

1. Why do you dislike #11 so much?
2. Do you know anyone who ships #13?
3. What would be your ideal scenario for #3?
4. What is your favorite episode for #1?
5. How long have you shipped #2
6. What's the story with #8? What made you stop caring for the pairing?
7. Which pairing do you prefer - #2 or #4?
8. Which pairing would you make non-existant if you could, #10 or #12?
9. What interests you about #14?
10. When did you stop liking #7?
11. Did your waning interest in #9 kill your interest in the show?
12. What's a song that reminds you of #5?
13. Which one of these pairings do you love the most?
14. Which one do you dislike the most?
15. If you could have any two of your favorite pairings double-date, who would you choose?
16. Have #2 kissed in canon yet?
17. Did #4 have a happy ending? If the story hasn't ended yet, is a happy ending likely, in your opinion? 
18. What could plausibly make you start shipping #14?
19. If only one could occur, which would you choose - #2 or #6?
20. You have the power to decide the fate of #10. What happens to them?

It's A Date, Part II
3. SCP-767

She's starting to regret making psychology her major. There are some real sickos out there, and she's no longer sure that she can stomach the things that they tell her.

Still, whenever she feels the urge to quit, she thinks about all of the people who do need help (Abed, for one), and she soldiers on.

Today, her professor has her meeting with a young cop from downtown. Her distaste for his profession wars with her desire to be a good therapist.

"Um, hello. What's your name?"

He tells her, and when she asks why he came, he shrugs. "I don't know. I've just grown a little uneasy around the dark."

"So, you've grown afraid of the dark, eh? Does this stem from any childhood trauma?" No sense in beating around the bush.

He blinks, confused. "Uh, no. I think it's just a reaction to some photos I found in my partner's locker. Here, I brought them."

He pulls them out of his backpack and hands them to her. She almost screams in shock.

It's a picture of badly mutilated human body. She actually has trouble telling whether it's a man or a woman.

"I'm sorry, I should have..."

"Oh, no, I'm used to seeing disturbing things," she lies, "because I am a therapist." She looks at the second and third pictures, both of which are much the same. She also notices that the room in the photos looks very much like a Greendale classroom. She continues to shift through them.

The next few photos are weird: They're from the point of view of someone looking down at one of the desks. The words "ON THE CEILING" are written on the surface in some red substance. She grimaces.

"I haven't seen all of them..." the cop begins as she looks at the last few pictures, none of which are particularly memorable, but then he stops. She looks up to see him pointing at the ceiling, his eyes wide and face pale.

She looks up to see what looks like a cloud of black gas forming above her. She barely has time to react before it grabs her. She screams once.

It's over fast.


4. SCP-1057

It's September, but the air is warm enough for Troy to feel like taking a dip in the local pool. Abed doesn't want to go, and Annie is busy getting ready for her date with Jeff, so he goes alone.

He jumps in as soon as he gets there, tearing off his shirt and tossing it aside. The pool is crowded, but he doesn't care. There's room enough for him to do his thing: Maybe he might meet somebody. There's a lot of cute girls here today.

As he smiles at one of the hotties sunbathing nearby, his attention is drawn to a tall, weird-looking man standing nearby. He's dressed like one of those artists that Britta likes, and he's staring at the water like he's waiting for something to happen. There's something written on the dude's shirt, and Troy squints to read it.

Suddenly, there's a piercing scream, and he turns to see a girl about his age being pulled under the water. She thrashes for a bit and then suddenly, just falls apart. Literally. The water turns red.

He is unable to react as a wake suddenly appears, a surge of water heading straight for him. He feels sharp, jagged teeth around his torso, and he bellows, more in surprise than in pain or fear.

The crowd around him begins to panic, and, as the invisible whatever-it-is tightens its grip on him, he notices that the man on the edge of the pool is watching the pandemonium with a wide grin spreading across his face.

As the thing bites down and Troy's vision darkens, he manages to read the message on the stranger's shirt:



5. SCP-106

Abed's alone in the apartment when he hears it. Stepping out of the box that he made for himself to replace the old Dreamatorium, he listens, head cocked.

"Troy? Annie? You guys home?" He doesn't expect an answer, and he doesn't get one. He's about to return to his simulation when he hears it again: Heavy breathing coming from the kitchen.

Now, he isn't exactly the toughest guy in the group, but he can handle himself pretty well. He mentally prepares himself for the coming confrontation and then steps out into the living room.

He freezes. It's an old man. The intruder is an old man, one who looks exceptionally frail. That isn't what makes Abed freeze, however.

It's the fact that the intruder is rotting.

And grinning.

That's when the old man vanishes through the floor.

Thinking about all the horror movies and paranormal investigative series that he's seen, Abed runs for the door.

Cold, decaying arms suddenly wrap around his waist from behind.

He has time to wonder if he is, in fact, in a horror movie.

It's Annie who finds him.


6. SCP-764

It's been three months since she's opened her shop, and Shirley is still elated. After all, she's been doing good business, earning enough money to pay off some bills, with some set aside for, well, anything! She hasn't had this much spending money in a long time.

Even more than that, she feels proud of herself, owning her own business, something that she had recently given up on. It's even better that she's doing something that she loves (cooking). She couldn't be happier.

On this jubilant note, she decides to stop at the nearby toy store to pick up a surprise for the boys. It's not a big shop. Rather, it's one of those cozy, ma-and-pop places, full of toys that look like antiques but are actually new. The clerk, the only other person in the store, smiles warmly at her as she heads into the back room.

Looking through the selection, she comes across a small, cardboard box. Curious, she looks inside.

Two hideous-looking hands puppets lay inside. Despite their unpleasant appearance, Shirley finds herself charmed by them.

"Let's put on a show," she says to herself, wistfully.

The box drops to the floor as she takes the puppets out and puts them on her hands.

"Well, Judy," says one of the puppets, " looks like we finally have a captive audience!"

"I agree, Punch," says the other. "Let's begin, shall we?"

Shirley laughs.

Her death is ruled a suicide.


7. SCP-966

He hasn't slept in almost a week. The group has noticed that he's been more irritable lately, but everyone (aside from Annie, who came over with a plate of home-made cookies last night) (Shirley's are better) seems to have written it off as 'Pierce being Pierce'.

It's 3:03 in the morning, and, failing to sleep again, he's gotten up to watch some tv. Unfortunately, nothing is on, so he ends up watching an old episode of Leave It To Beaver.

During the program, he hears a noise. He lives alone and has no pets, so, naturally, this startles him. He gets up and turns. He hears a snarl that's both animalistic and disturbingly human. It comes from the kitchen. A second one emanates from the bathroom.

Grabbing a fireplace poker, Pierce shouts, "All right, you bastards. Joke's over! Come on out!" His only reply is another of those freaky snarls, this one coming from the entrance to the garage.

Still brandishing the poker, Pierce inches his way to the hallway, planning to bolt as soon as he can see the door.

Something jumps on him, and he lets out a very unmanly shriek as he falls. There's a sharp pain around his neck, and he hears gibbering in the air around him. He raises the poker and smacks at the air above him. He apparently strikes something, as there is a howl of pain and he is released. He gets up, swinging his weapon, apparently injuring the invisible intruders. 

"Think you can kill me?! I'll show ya who you're messing with!"  

He jabs the spear forward, and there's a satisfying crunch and a squeal of pain. Letting go of the poker, he races for the door. He almost makes it, too.

Something leaps onto his back, and he falls again. This time, he doesn't get back up.


8. SCP-093

Craig didn't know how he got here. One minute, he had been inspecting a cool little rock that he found in Jeffrey's an unknown student's locker. The next, he had gone to hide it in his closet. Suddenly, he found himself somewhere else!

He suspected that it had something to do with the mirror. He wasn't sure how, but he was sure that he had somehow entered the mirror in his closet, leaving the pretty rock behind.  

It wasn't like Wonderland, though. It was a pretty normal-looking city, actually. The only thing that was weird about it (aside from the gross-looking grease coating some of the buildings) was the fact that it was totally empty. After a few minutes of searching, he hadn't found anyone else.

A loud bellow suddenly cascaded through the empty city. He jumped, screaming. When he looked for the source of the sound, he screamed again: A large, faceless humanoid was coming at him, crawling obscenely on the road, its arms stretching into seemingly impossible lengths. He was astounded at the sight of it: It was almost six stories high!

He started to run.

He tripped.


9. SCP-354

Chang cursed Dean Spreck with every fibre of his being. He had come to him, bearing the ultimate gift - the secret to defeating Greendale - and the idiot had turned him into the police! Luckily, he managed to escape. With some help, he even managed to get out of the country! 

Here, in Canada, he had managed to make a new life for himself. Sure, it wasn't exactly the best life, but it was better than sneaking around in vents.

While hiking in the woods by the boarding house (He did this often, whenever the fellow tenants got on his nerves), he found something interesting: A small lake. What was interesting about it was the fact that the water (or whatever it was) was red. He touched it, and made a face of disgust: It felt like human blood.

Since he was, well, eccentric, he also tasted it. It tasted just like regular water, if a bit bitter.

Suddenly, a large tentacle suddenly burst out of the water. It wrapped around his waist and yanked him into the depths before he had a chance to react.

It was a week before anyone noticed that he was gone.

It's A Date
1. SCP-428

It's my first date with Annie, and I find myself feeling disarmingly uncool. Seriously, every other minute I seem to find myself saying something awkward or messing up in some profound way. Thankfully, she's incredibly understanding.

After dinner, I take her to City Park, at her request. We walk along the path for a while, talking about nothing truly important. As much as I'd like to take her back to my apartment, I find myself enjoying myself, arguing playfully about the merits of Mark Ruffalo and watching the sky fade to black. 

After forty minutes, Annie directs my attention to a small area just off the path. It's a small group of people, huddled together. They seem to be looking at something. Curious, we walk closer.

As we draw nearer, we hear the crowd mumbling quietly, and I start to feel uncomfortable. There's something about this bunch of people that seems unnatural. I reach over to pull Annie back, but I'm too late. She touches one of their shoulders.   

They suddenly turn and grab her, and, as I rush forward, I notice that their faces are totally expressionless. Shouting, I manage to pull her out of their grip, but their attention turns toward me. Their hands grasp me tight as they pull me away from her.

For the next few seconds, I am aware of only a few quick glimpses and sensations:

Annie's terrified face as she attempts to free me.

A large, pale blob, connected to the crowd in some way. (It all happens too fast to really see how)

Long, hooked tendrils suddenly bursting from the mass.

A sudden, sharp pain along my stomach.

...And then I die.


2. SCP-819

I'm trembling with nervousness and excitement as we pull into the parking lot.

"Are you sure that I look alright?"

"You look fine. My mom will love you."

Jeff's mom is a nurse at a small doctor's office in Littleton, and I really want to impress her. I quickly check my makeup one more time before getting out of the car. 

There's no kids when we walk in, but the receptionist still looks busy. Jeff tells her why we're here, and she smiles, saying that his mom is at lunch, but should be back shortly. 

"It's okay. We'll wait," I say, rubbing Jeff's hand. I notice a small, cardboard box of lollipops on the counter, and I ask if Jeff and I can each have one.

"Well, they're actually for kids, but I guess it's okay."

I grab a purple one, and, after some coaxing on my part, Jeff grabs a yellow one.

Sucking on our (forgive me) "suckers", we sit on the waiting couch. I try to concentrate on a copy of Reader's Digest that I brought with me, but my head is starting to hurt. A lot. As the pain grows, my vision becomes blurry, and I set the magazine aside and close my eyes.

After a minute, I can't take it anymore. I ask Jeff to move and let me lie down. He agrees, seeming worried. He reminds me that we're at a doctor's office.

"It's okay. It's just a stress headache. I'll be fine." 

It's not. Within a few minutes, I find myself growing dizzy, and the pain in my head grows more severe. Hearing my complaints and seeing the tears in my eyes, Jeff calls 911. He holds my hand as the doctor and a couple of nurses come to our aid. I gasp for breath as they bend over me.

"What's her name?"

"Annie." Jeff looks at me again. "Annie, hang on. It's gonna be fine."
The last thing I see is all of their worried faces looking down at me. That's when I lose consciousness.

...And then I die.

Writing Exercise
1. Annie is taking part in a pie eating contest (Post 3x15)

"Gimme another!" Annie shouted, her face coated with a mish-bash of cherry juice, smashed blueberries and bits of pie crust.

"Well, looks like the little lady has a big appetite!" The announcer preened as another pie was brought to Annie's plate. "You'd better watch out, Larry, she might break your winning streak!"

Annie's only remaining opponent, a hairy behemoth of a man wearing an Inspector Spacetime t-shirt, grunted angrily and resumed his frenzied munching (She briefly wondered if this was the same Larry who Troy and Abed had been looking for earlier).

"Done!" Annie cried out a mere few minutes later. As a tenth pie was brought to the front, she sought Jeff out in the crowd and grinned smugly.

Jeff smiled and waved in return. Much more of a reaction than Annie had expected, considering Jeff's earlier mood, and what he had said. 

She wanted to shout, "I'm not doing this because of you!" but decided not to. She was having too much fun.

"You'd better watch your appetite, Missy," the announcer said, chortling as she dove into the steaming apple-scented pastry. "...or you won't be such a pretty little thing for very long!"
2. The group is at a public pool (Summer 2012)

"Is that...Annie Edison?"

"Little Annie Adderrall? No way! She's!"

"Yeah! Wasn't she, like, really fat the last time we saw her?"

"I'm telling you guys, it's her!"

Jeff turned towards the voices and saw three young men standing near the chairs. For a moment he was confused, but then he saw the Riverside High School Varsity jackets drapped over the fence and he understood. These were the douchebags who Troy had told him about. 

After considering their expressions, a mixture of befuddlement and appreciativness, he followed their gaze: Annie was on the high dive, wearing nothing but her small, red bikini. She was stretching, preparing to jump.

He briefly felt a surge of protective rage, but it cooled off as the seeds of a plan began to form in his brain. After Troy had told him what these three had done to Annie in high school (she could have been killed!), he'd fantasized about what elaborate revenge he could bestow on the trio on her behalf if he ever ran into them.

Jeff stood up and walked towards the three younger men. His plan had now taken shape, and these three were never going to forget it.
3. Jeff and Annie are alone in her new apartment (Winter 2012)

Jeff didn't know what to say. Annie stared at him defiantly, arms crossed.

"Couldn't you, like, just admit that you were wrong?"

"Annie, I'm not wrong. He's wrong for you."

"Why would you say that? He's kind, sweet..."

"It's all an act!"

"Oh, where have I heard that before? You know, Jeff, you can't just decide to pursue me whenever I'm suddenly unavailable."

Jeff fell silent again.
4. The group is camping in the Rockies (Summer 2013)

Britta groaned loudly when she walked in on them. "I swear, you guys are worse than a newlywed couple!"

Annie, trying to stifle her giggles as Jeff nuzzled the nape of her neck, shrugged. "We're happy."

"Frisky, more like," Pierce said. "The two of you have been going at it like rabbits since you got together! Keeps me up!"

Silence fell over the campfire. The older man nodded at Jeff and Annie, who has frozen in stunned mortification. "Yeah, I can hear you. Suck on that. Just be thankful I don't have a tape recorder."

OTP Parenting Meme
1. Who is the first to bring up having kids? How does the other react?

2. When they bring the new baby home, how do their friends & family react?

3. Who is more likely to tend to the baby in the middle of the night?

4. Who is better at dealing with dirty diapers and potty training?

5. Who is more likely to get emotional on the child's first day of school?

6. Who is more likely to be the one to dole out punishments? Who is the "fun parent"?

7. The child has a nightmare and comes into the parents' room. What do they do?

8. Speaking of bedtime fears, how would each parent deal with the phrase "There's a monster in the closet/under the bed!"?

9. Out of their friends, who would the parents trust the most to babysit? How about the least?

10. What games/activities would they play with their child at this point in time (age 3-5)?

11. What does each parent look for when looking for a school for their child to attend?

12. Time passes. Around this point (age 10-11), how does each parent react to their child bringing home an A+?

13. How about an F?

14. Who is more likely to help the child with their homework?

15. Who teaches their child about the birds and the bees? 

16. In junior high, they learn that their child is being bullied. How do they react?

17. With their child now a teenager, how has their relationship with him/her changed? How has it stayed the same?

18. They discover dirty magazines in their child's mattress/links to dirty sites on their child's computer. What do they do?

19. How does each parent react to their child dating?

20. Their child wants to join the football team/cheerleading/mathletes/whatever. Are they supportive?

21. How are they on their child's graduation?

22. Do they visit their child in college? If so, how often?

23. How do they act on their child's wedding?

24. How do they react on the birth of their first grandchild?

25. What kind of in-laws/grandparents are they?

TV Meme
Back in the Day: 5 TV Shows You Loved As A Kid
1. My Life As A Teenage Robot. (Nickelodeon)  
2. Danny Phantom. (Nickelodeon) 
3. The New Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh. (Disney Channel) 
4. So Weird. (Disney Channel)  
5. Wimzie's House. (PBS)
Who Would You D{ate}?: 5 TV Characters You Would...Well, It's Self-Explanatory
1. Annie Edison. (Community)  
2. Amy Pond. (Doctor Who)
3. Rosalee Calvert. (Grimm)
4. Connie Rubirosa. (Law & Order)
5. Kaylee Frye. (Firefly) 
What? No, No, I Don't Watch That...: 5 Guilty Pleasure TV Shows
1. Destination Truth.
2. MonsterQuest.  
3. Deadliest Warrior.  
4. 1000 Ways To Die.
5. Fact Or Faked: Paranormal Files.  
Wow: 5 TV Moments You Still Remember (And Probably Won't Forget)
1. Starbuck punching in the coordinates to Earth. (Battlestar Galactica)
2. Jeff and Annie's kiss at the end of the first season finale. (Community) 
3. Locke's flashback at the end of the fourth episode. (Lost)
4. Gus walking out of the wreckage with half of his face blown off. (Breaking Bad) 
5. The shot of the World Trade Center at the end of the first season finale. (Fringe)
"Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs": 5 TV Theme Songs You Know (and Love) By Heart
1. Community Theme.
2. Game Of Thrones Theme.  
3. Fringe Theme.   
4. The Office Theme.
5. Parks And Recreation Theme. 
Eh: 5 Shows You Just Can't Get Into
1. Glee.
2. Suburgatory.
3. Don't Trust The B*** In Apartment 23.
4. The Killing. 
5. NCIS: LA. 
The Starting Line-Up: 5 Channels You Go To First When You Sit Down to Watch TV
1. NBC.
2. FOX. 
3. AMC.
4. CW. 
5. CBS.
This Is An Environment of Welcoming, and You Should Just Get the Hell Out Of Here: 5 TV Characters You Could Do Without
1. Ben Chang. (Community)
2. Nellie. (The Office)  
3. Lori Grimes. (The Walking Dead)
4. Robert California. (The Office)
5. Joffrey Baratheon. (Game Of Thrones)
That's What She Said: 5 Quotes That Still Resonate
1. Pretty much all of Annie's final speech from 3x16. (Community)
2. "I am the one who knocks." - Walter White. (Breaking Bad)
3. "It is a new day, on Earth and in Heaven. Rejoice." Castiel. (Supernatural)
4. "Nature doesn't good or evil, only balance and imbalance." - Walternate. (Fringe) 
5. "Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many." - The Doctor. (Doctor Who) 
More: 5 Shows You Can Never Get Enough Of (Only 5?)
1. Community.  
2. Fringe.  
3. Supernatural.  
4. Breaking Bad.  
5. Parks And Recreation.


It Can't Be Over Already: Favorite Canceled/Ended Shows
1. The X-Files.
2. Firefly.
3. Lost.
4. Battlestar Galactica.
5. Babylon 5.

Note: Law & Order is an honorable mention. 

Animal House. (1/1)

The car moved quickly through Greendale's nearly deserted streets, ignoring all kinds of traffic laws in the process.

Jeff looked through the rear window. "Uh, I think you just ran a stop sign."

"Oh, did I?" Monroe replied distractedly. "Because I don't really care. Hang tight." The car veered to the right. "Anyway, what were you saying?"

"I was asking about what you said earlier. So, what, Britta and Annie are both some kind of monster?" Jeff asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Monroe rolled his eyes, and he glared at Jeff like he was the biggest idiot in the world. "Wesen aren't monsters. We're just like you guys, only with fangs and claws know, all that good stuff."

"Okay...Why don't we just head on down to the hospital so that we can get you committed, okay?"

"You have to believe me! Your friends are in danger, man! This Rich guy who's after them is a really bad dude!"

"Thanks, but I highly doubt that. He's a douche, but he'd never hurt anybody. Besides, he..."

Jeff never got a chance to finish his sentence. Monroe slammed the brakes, jerking them both forward. "I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this, but..." He turned towards Jeff and his face...shifted. It became wolf-life, slightly longer. He bared his teeth, which had become fangs, and his red eyes glowed malevolently. 

Jeff yelped in surprise and fear, and he reached for the door handle. Monroe grabbed his shoulder. "Listen to me. You care about your friends, right?"

The former lawyer looked back at the driver, whose face has returned to normal. "Y-Yeah. I guess."

"You care about this Annie girl a lot, don't you? I've seen the way you look at her."

The shock had briefly taken away Jeff's ability to lie. "Yeah. I do."

"Then believe me when I say that we have to get to her before Rich does. Her life depends on it, and so does the life of your cat-loving blonde friend." 

* * * * *

"Britta!" Hearing the commotion in the living room, Annie had rushed back out to see what was going on.

Her friend lay unconscious on the floor, and Rich stood over her, breathing heavily.

"Rich, what are..." Annie fell silent as her guest turned to face her, his face changing into a fierce, lion-like viasge.

"You know," he said, gesturing at Britta's senseless form. "...I really hate cats." He charged, and Annie screamed, running into her room. Rich laughed as he followed her. He knew that she was cornered.

Annie turned to face him, hissing. Her face no longer looked human, and her hands now bore wicked claws.

"Ooh, you wanna fight, eh? This should be interesting."

* * * * *

Jeff and Monroe rushed up the stairs. "Which apartment is hers?"

Jeff pointed. "303."

When they reached the door, the first thing that Jeff noticed was the sound of fighting coming from inside. "Annie!" he called, grabbing the doorknob.

It was locked.

"Hey, no worries," Monroe said as he slammed his shoulder against it, bursting it open.

Simultaneously, they heard an anguished roar, followed by a triumphant shriek. Realizing that it came from Annie's room, Jeff ran inside.

* * * * *

Annie had never felt as scared in her life as she did now, fighting off Rich. However, she didn't plan to go quietly, and she was proud of herself for giving him a hard time. She managed to slash him across the face, and she screamed in triumph at her opponent's roar of pain. 

Someone ran into the room, and, for a moment, she thought that it was Britta. The figure paused at the threshold, and then ran in.

* * * * *

Jeff felt as if he'd walked into a comic book. A large, lion-like creature was battling a smaller, vicious-looking lizard thing. He paused in confusion, not sure what to do. After a moment, he noticed that the reptilian monster was wearing a yellow cardigan, and it had large, blue eyes. It was Annie!

As soon as he realized that, he rushed in without thinking, jumping on the larger creature's back. "Annie! Run!"

Rich (At least, he assumed it was Rich) shrugged him off easily, tossing him away. Jeff hit the wall hard, and the room began to spin. 

"Shit, that was a dumb idea," Jeff thought as Rich advanced on him, teeth bared and claws raised. "Monroe, we kinda need your help in here!"

Klaustreich - What Britta is.

Blutbad - Monroe's real appearance.

Picture 3.png
Lowen - What Rich is.

Skalengeck - What Annie is.

Beautiful. (1/1)
Community/Doctor Who/Warhammer 40000

Despite the ten feet of stone between the three of them and the battle outside, Jeff did not feel any safer, especially since the weight of the gun the Guardsman had given him earlier was already feeling way too heavy, making his shoulder ache. He glared at the Doctor, who was watching the carnage outside and muttering to himself. 

Jeff looked at Annie, feeling a twinge of jealousy at the tiny pistol she clutched. "You know, when he offered to take us to see the stars, I was expecting something a little different than this."

She looked at him, seeming more annoyed than afraid. "Like what?"

Thinking of what the Doctor said when they first met him, Jeff replied, "Like watching stars go supernova or attending Woodstock. Not preparing to be ripped to shreds by some giant bug."

He tried to sound brave(ish) for Annie's sake, but he must have somehow betrayed his real feelings, because Annie's face softened, and she took his hand. "Don't be too scared. We'll get out of this. Remember the Weeping Angels back at..."

"Hey! You two! Shut up, I'm trying to think!" The Doctor began pacing, his mumbling growing louder and more frantic. "Maybe we could...Yes, it might work...Wait, no...That's a terrible plan...I can't believe I thought that...No, wait, it's fantastic..."

"I hope you're right, Annie."

"I know I'm right."

A sudden volley of shots came from outside, and a loud, vicious roar boomed in Jeff's ears. The trio ran to the windows and looked outside.

"Looks like the Tyranids still have some tricks up their sleeve," the Doctor said, grinning broadly as Jeff and Annie's faces went pale.

A large creature, significantly bigger than even the largest of the other Tyranids, pushed its way through the melee, heading for the building.

"Oh, that is beautiful," the Doctor said, awe in his voice.

Jeff felt Annie's hand slip into his. He squeezed it reassuringly, despite not knowing whether she was offering comfort or seeking it.

"I hope that the others are okay," Annie said quietly as she watched the monster head closer.

Jeff swallowed, realizing that he'd forgotten all about Troy, Abed, Britta, Shirley and Pierce. He hoped that they were all still alive.

Suddenly, there was a tremor beneath their feet. "What was that?" Jeff asked as the tremors grew increasingly stronger.

Annie stumbled, and she grabbed onto him for support. That didn't do much good, though, and they both tumbled to the ground. The Doctor, however, seemed to have no trouble keeping his balance, and he continued looking out the window. "Something else. Something even bigger than our new friend out there..."

With a BOOM (and really, that did not do the noise justice), a huge, segmented mass burst out of the ground outside the building, blocking the light from the suns. Jeff covered Annie with his body as the roof was torn away, sending bits of rubble flying everywhere.

He looked up, and his heart lept into his throat. Annie screamed. 

The Doctor stood there, his arms raised at the gigantic, clawed, fanged, frilled, worm-like monstrosity. "I take back what I said before. You are the beautiful one."

The first Tyranid that the Doctor called beautiful. (Carnifex)

The second one. (Mawloc)

Imaginiff Meme
Your favorite Community character...

1. on an airplane and the pilot dies of a heart attack. What would s/he do?

2. ...backs over the neighbor's cat in the driveway, killing it. What does s/he do?

3. honked and cursed at repeatedly by an impatient driver. How does s/he react?

4. ...accidentally farts loudly at a dinner party. What does s/he do next?

5. falsely accused of stealing. What does s/he do?

6. ...witnesses a mugging on the city street. What does s/he do?  

7. awakened in the night by a burglar. What does s/he do?

8. Your favorite character's doctor suggested more excercise. What form of excercise would s/he start trying?

9. ...moves to a new neighborhood, where s/he knows no one. What is the first thing s/he does after settling in?

10. ...inherits $100,000,000. What does s/he do?

11. If your favorite character were to die mysteriously, what would be the most likely cause of death?

12. If your favorite character was stuck in the backseat for a 10-hour car trip, what would upset him/her the most?

13. ...makes a million dollars. How would s/he most likely have earned it?

14. propositioned at school by a fellow student s/he dislikes. What would s/he do?

15. ...discovers that a married friend is having an affair. What does s/he do?

16. ...steps onto a bus and the only other passenger is their favorite TV star. What would s/he do?

17. ...has to select a way of dying. What would s/he choose?

18. getting married. What wedding-day disaster would upset them the most?

19. a business manager. What would they consider the most important quality in employees?

20. If they could invite a famous historical figure to their home for dinner, who would they choose?

21. ...has to sing at a karaoeke bar. What song would they choose?

22. If your favorite character was an animal, what animal would they be? 

23. If your favorite character was a crime, what crime would they be?

24. Emotion?

25. Color?

26. Candy?

27. What 20th-century decade most matches your favorite character's personality?

28. If your favorite character could choose a superpower, what superpower would they choose?


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